So, this weekend went better...-ish, as I would like to put it.

I got to do my favorite football weekend activities. They included going to the pep rally where Bon Jovi made a guest appearance, which was pretty cool. I got to watch my favorite college football team play...then lose, which sucked, especially since it was in quadruple over time. I got an extra hour of sleep this morning because of Day Light Savings time.

Despite all of this I still have that feeling in my stomach. Its almost the kind of feeling you get when you are really nervous about something, but I don't know what that could be. Its the butterflies in the pit of the stomach.

Sometimes I try and figure out what it is but then it always makes me feel they are my inadequacies that cause the butterflies. Then in thinking of these things I start to wonder if I am depressed but then I think to myself, if I am asking this I probably am not. I know that I am smart enough but I still often question it. I just want them to go away.

I want to feel fully happy about myself and I always think well once I fix this I will be, or once I fix that I will be, but once those things are fixed I always feel it is something else. I wish I could find happiness within myself. I know I had it at once but then I often wonder if it is because of rosy retrospection at work. Do I feel like I was completely happy in middle school because of the nostalgic factor or is it because I was genuinely happy? I wish I knew becuase I know what was different back then to what is going on now and I could try and rectify the situation.

I wish life was stress free...but its not, and I think that is what my problem is. I don't handle stress well. :-( Which stinks for me.