Last Day of Classes

I have finished my first semester as a college student. I don't know if I could call it successful, but it is done. I have finally figured out the "time management" thing that people have always told me about and as surprising as it may be, facebook doesn't facilitate in successful time management. I know, it was a surprise to me too. I have one final next week and a paper due. I think I should do fairly well. I am kind of excited for them. Next semester can only go better, I am convinced. I think I will be taking far more interesting classes and my profs should be slightly more interesting than this semester, or at least I hope so.

Looking back now I realize that college is amazing, at least the weekend part of it. It is also amazing to get to be with some of my best friends. I have made so many friends in these few short weeks its incredible. I think the most amazing part about college is the fact that I am just down the hall from my friends or just a couple buildings away. Its really nice to just take a quick study break and leave my room for a few minutes. I always knew that the social aspect of college was a plus but I didn't realize how much I would miss it during Christmas break let alone summer break. Its crazy.

College, as of now, is pretty much just as amazing as everyone said it was going to be. I can't wait to see what next semester has in store for me.

College

I may not fail college after all. I know, a surprise to many considering I thought I was doing God awful, but I'm not! Yea!!

Next semester should be interesting. I am taking 18 credit hours. And I will stick with them all semester and I will get an A in at least one of my classes. I am determined.

I will also ace my sociology exam. I will. I must.

I feel a lot more up beat than a I did just a few weeks ago. I went through a major slump. Now I just need to try and stay out of it.

November 2006

I guess this is just my week for apologies. I had a falling out with one of my roommates this week. Although this is a sucky reason for my mean-ness I want to link it to the fact that I want everything to go back to before November of 2006. It seems to me that things were a lot better then.

In November of 2006 I saw my dad alive for the last time. I remember it, too. He came to the house to pick up the last of his things and he was in the garage. I was thirsty so I went out there to grab a bottle of water and him and my mom were talking on the steps in our garage. I remember avoiding eye contact. I also remember the look in his eyes, I remember the will that was in his eyes. I know that he wanted me to acknowledge him, but I didn't. I just went about my business.

Following that November I talked to my dad just a handful of times. I remember one phone call where I yelled at him. I am pretty sure I told him that I never wanted to see him again. I remember him not talking back. I remember his breathing being hard. I remember him not being able to talk back because he was too weak to. I also remember me not caring. I remembering still yelling at him and yelling. I was probably screaming.

I remember the last time he called. It was a Friday night. I was getting ready to go talk to my mom and the phone rang. I answered it and I remembering being really short with my dad. He told me that my aunt Pam was going to take him to the doctor that Monday and they were going to see what was wrong with him. I remember him telling me that he loves me and I remember me telling him "whatever". That was the last thing I ever said to my dad, because he died that Monday.

Right now I wish that I had my best friend here to talk to. I wish that it was like in November when I could call her at all hours of the night and talk (between 10 and 11 of course). When I would see her before school would start and I would tell her about my night. I want her here with me now. She could give me advice that I would clearly not follow :) but she would be there for me to vent.

This Week

So it is basically safe to say that this week has been an incredible week from hell. I had an intense Sociology project due that involved a multi page write up and a crazy huge Religious Studies paper on Messianic Claimants due. In the midst of writing these this week I was successfully locked out of my room twice in one day, had an emotional breakdown, and turned in my Religious Studies paper late. Needless to say, I am so glad that it is Friday.

I am going to take this weekend to catch up on some homework, sleep, and movie watching. It is well overdue. Since I came back from Fall Break my life has been non-stop. Much to the dismay of my professors I have not gone out yet I still have to chose sleep over shower because of the immense amount of homework that I have had lately.

Although this week has been extremely hectic and unenjoyable I did get an amazing Zac Efron poster at Meijer and yesterday the band did give us free Addidas fleeces for showing exreme amounts of effort in being in marching band....

Needless to say I am extremely happy today is Friday.