November 2006

I guess this is just my week for apologies. I had a falling out with one of my roommates this week. Although this is a sucky reason for my mean-ness I want to link it to the fact that I want everything to go back to before November of 2006. It seems to me that things were a lot better then.

In November of 2006 I saw my dad alive for the last time. I remember it, too. He came to the house to pick up the last of his things and he was in the garage. I was thirsty so I went out there to grab a bottle of water and him and my mom were talking on the steps in our garage. I remember avoiding eye contact. I also remember the look in his eyes, I remember the will that was in his eyes. I know that he wanted me to acknowledge him, but I didn't. I just went about my business.

Following that November I talked to my dad just a handful of times. I remember one phone call where I yelled at him. I am pretty sure I told him that I never wanted to see him again. I remember him not talking back. I remember his breathing being hard. I remember him not being able to talk back because he was too weak to. I also remember me not caring. I remembering still yelling at him and yelling. I was probably screaming.

I remember the last time he called. It was a Friday night. I was getting ready to go talk to my mom and the phone rang. I answered it and I remembering being really short with my dad. He told me that my aunt Pam was going to take him to the doctor that Monday and they were going to see what was wrong with him. I remember him telling me that he loves me and I remember me telling him "whatever". That was the last thing I ever said to my dad, because he died that Monday.

Right now I wish that I had my best friend here to talk to. I wish that it was like in November when I could call her at all hours of the night and talk (between 10 and 11 of course). When I would see her before school would start and I would tell her about my night. I want her here with me now. She could give me advice that I would clearly not follow :) but she would be there for me to vent.

With Space comes great disagreements

Going in to college I was really excited to room in a quad. I figured that I would make three new friends and have a lot of extra space that I otherwise wouldn't have had. The downfall to this amazing plan was...personalities.

I figured that going into college everyone would be studying hard and partying harder...but not my roommates. I have one roommate that I get along with the best, she studies yet she likes to go out and have an equally enjoyable time...not my other two roommates. One constantly comments on how the other has no friends...yet she, herself, has only her one friend, that she went to highschool with. These two roommates are constantly in our room. One is either napping or the other is watching the tv at a ridiculously high decibel.

*side note* My friends would constantly joke that I have asian ears. Basically me and my mom would sit in our living room watching tv with the volume down and when people come in they never know what we are laughing about because the tv would be down so low.

Back to the story. I have two friendless roommates that have no social life.

The reason why I am saying this is because of a blowout that me and one of my roommates had yesterday. I had a friend over studying and I had the music on my alarm clock down really low. Basically if two people were talking you couldn't hear the music. My roommate walks into the room and starts talking to one of my other roommates. I am totally fine with this because it is there room too. But then she starts talking about how she has to watch this one show at three and she can't miss it and then she just started to get really obnoxious. Finally I told her to grow up and that she should study instead of complaining about failing classes.

All I am asking for are you to be courteous when others are trying to study. There are times that I come into the room and everyone is studying and all I want to do is watch tv, so what do I do? I go under my bed and watch a movie on my computer. I occupy myself quietly so I don't disturb others.